A Story About Two Men on a Bridge
I was walking across a bridge recently. I spied this guy who looked
like he was ready to jump off. So, I thought I’d try to stall him
until the authorities showed up (or at least until I had time to put
film in my camera).
“Don’t jump!” I said.
“Why not?” he said. “Nobody loves me.”
“God loves you,” I said. “You believe in God, don’t you?”
“Yes, I believe in God,” he said.
“Good,” I said. “Are you Christian or Jewish?”
“Christian,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Protestant or Catholic?”
“Protestant,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “What kind of Protestant?”
“Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Independent Baptist or Southern Baptist?”
“Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “New Evangelical/Moderate Independent Baptist or
Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist or
Lose-Your-Salvation Arminian Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist,” he said.
“Me, too!” I said. “Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic
Conservative Independent Baptist OR Historical Premillennial
Calvinistic Conservative Independent Baptist?”
“Dispensational Premillennial Calvinistic Conservative Independent
Baptist,” he said.
“Auugghh!!! You heretic!” I said. And I pushed him over.
